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Friday, July 18, 2003

i should have known better but i just didnt wna believe in the truth

the CIs are just so fucking irritating and blind mans. they so fucking sux. i so hate them. they are not only bias but damn fucking blind. they only see what is put in front of them and nothing else. come on mans. some pple who deserve the promotion arent evern promoted. and others who dont are. i am not gna name names but pls lohs. some pple are actually a staff sergant and i am just a lowly fucking sergant. and everyone expects me to be eleated that i am promoted to this freak rank. big deal. so great.

all my efforts these four years are worth this. i didnt feel anything when they announced this during recess today. just thought to myself "great. this is what i deserve for four years." and then i was talking to sanni when the np room door banged. ok. xiaoyan was upset cos she want promoted. i went to talk to her. i mean, i know how she feels. but somehow the words i told her seems so useless. but i swear she is so much luckier than me. at least she is in a field post. i just so hate admin. i am practically the last batch promoted to sergant. which is like the rank some sec threes already have. she was the first batch to get promoted. i swear, they recognise her efforts more than mine. yepps. and all the commotion was happening in the stinky toilet at the sec 2 level. she was crying and i started tearing. -shrugs-

life is so unfair. damnit. i got an urge to call yuhan and tell her that xiaoyan and yumin deserved to get promoted. they do! after everything. even if they dont recognise what i did, at least see them. come on mans. i cant believe they are that blind! i so lose hope in np again. guess i just chose to believe that things will change but no it wont and will never. somehow my dad is so right this time. i just have to admit it. i put in so much effort and this is what i get. thanks mans. somehow, i wonder whether all the effort i put in np is gone to waste. i just so hate this kinda ending. chao sux. /:

[ 10:35 PM ]

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